We are passengers on boats slowly sinking!
There are glorious things about getting old. Like I can’t hear two-thirds of what people are saying to me. It makes me so happy.
I love those lines from the characters Sandy and Norman on Netflix’s The Kominsky Method. Longtime friends, played by Michael Douglas and Alan Arkin, wax eloquently and comically about the indignities and irreverence of growing old. But as friends, they face the inevitable, tumultuous journey together.
Having said that, recently many of our friends have fallen off the carousel of life and have left us to age without them.
We grieve for them and are grateful we’re still here.
I’m still here. However, when I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize the face staring back at me. That doesn’t look like me. In fact, I have been known to rummage through old photographs just to remind myself of what I used to look like.
Then I tell myself to stop whining. I remember what dapper Cary Grant said about growing older. “Just think of the millions who have been denied the privilege.”
And then the other voice in my head can be heard echoing Bette Davis’ famous quote: “Old age is no place for sissies.”
True perhaps, but let me share with you reflections of four amazing people in my life who are turning 80 this spring. They are hardly ‘sissies’.
Ramona, teacher, volunteer and political junkie:
“You’re only old once,” as Dr. Seuss once wrote. And yet, it can be a long season. What I sometimes reflect on is this: what if my body doesn’t keep pace with my mind?
So I’ve come to see turning 80 as an invitation to gratitude—for a body that serves me well most days, for a lifetime of memories, for patience with my limits, and for a quiet curiosity about what still lies ahead. I cherish small joys, forgive more readily, and try to leave a little kindness wherever I go.”
And Lynne, business-woman, marathoner and Master’s student:
“Turning eighty is an arrival – a journey that, on reflection, gives meaning to my eighty-first year. I understand more, I discern more, I enjoy the quiet times, and I weed out the meaninglessness, the selfishness, and the time-wasters. The view from my place of arrival is clear, unambiguous and without compromise. No more wishing and hoping – either get it done or leave it behind. The view from here is peaceful.”
Christine, opera singer, musical theatre actress and grandmother:
“I’ll admit I’m a little freaked out about turning 80! I sure as hell don’t feel 80.
After losing two family members in one month recently, I’m just so grateful that I’m still here and lucky enough to be able to celebrate this important milestone.
So, I’m going to focus on staying healthy, enjoying my family and friends whom I cherish, and taking advantage of every opportunity that generates happiness!”
And lastly, my partner, Martin, who reminds me constantly we are running out of life:
“Turning 80 makes me think of my Uncle Oscar. I remember thinking how old he was at 80. I certainly don’t feel 80. Well, maybe sometimes, when my muscles complain and my balance seems to be not as steady, I admit to feeling a little disappointed and sad as the end of life is getting closer. But as singer Luke Bryan reminds me, I’ll continue my life huntin’, fishin’ and lovin’ every day”.
With my darling boy, we shall navigate the vicissitudes of what remains of our lives together.
Bring your jet boat and don’t forget the life jackets!
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