All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth…
Dear Santa, I’m thrilled as I write you this note
It’s been far too long since last time I wrote.
I trust you are well and Mrs. Claus too
Dasher and Dancer, Rudolph and crew.
I hope climate change hasn’t rocked the North Pole
And you’re being responsible by not burning coal.
COP28 leaders met in Dubai to discuss
Global warming and temperatures causing a fuss.
But how did they get there? On foot or by train?
No, they used a carbon-producing airplane.
I heard they complained about your form of travel,
As their desperate suggestions began to unravel.
Eliminate fossil fuels and ideas made in haste,
Like the methane produced by your reindeers’ waste.
The irony, Santa is not lost on me
As I look back on this year of 2023.
Let me share it with you in case you’ve not heard,
I’ll cull out the fake news, I give you my word.
What a year it has been, the worst year so far
In case you don’t get CBC where you are
You may not have heard of the Corp’s latest woes
Budget cuts and job losses, except of course for those
At the executive level and you won’t find this shocking
Their annual bonuses will fill their Christmas stocking.
Oh Santa, the war rages on with Hamas
With Israel not saying how long it will last.
With thousands of humans wiped off this earth
At a time we are celebrating a kind of rebirth.
What’s wrong with this world…are people insane?
And what of the innocent folks in Ukraine?
Tell me, what do the aggressors gain from their trouble?
A nation in ruins amidst the infrastructure rubble.
But let me move on to some news that is brighter
More optimistic and a little tad lighter
We have a new king in Charles the third
His wife now his Queen but I’m sure you have heard
Camilla hung in there and now she can rule
With Charles by her side, this gal is no fool.
Closer to home, the news in the ‘hood
Is Sophie left Justin, she’s left him for good.
But Trudeau’s bounced back as he’s nobody’s toady,
Knocking heads with India’s Navenda Modi.
And his political rival who we know as Pierre
Has taken off his specs and moussed up his hair.
With family in tow, he’s telling the nation
He’ll scrap the carbon tax and eliminate inflation.
Not to be outdone, the fun continues down South
With Trump still putting his foot in his mouth.
With four indictments, the news media says,
He’s likely to win the right’s nomination for Prez.
Yes the world has gone crazy as it teeters on the brink
As patriarchy took a beating by the gal dressed in pink.
Yes I’m talking about Barbie who stars in a movie
That’s taking in millions and that’s kinda groovy
Girl power is in as the world’s Swifties will attest
As Taylor Swift rakes in billions…she’s simply the best.
And speaking of billions, I have sage advice
For all the kids out there whether naughty or nice,
Santa, use Amazon delivery and make your life easy
Jeff Bezos, the founder makes it’s so easy-peasy.
Santa, it’s been great reconnecting with you,
I’ll pray for world peace as I’m sure you will too.
I don’t need more gifts or presents or stuff
I have all that I need, in fact quite enough.
However, Mr. Trudeau has made my life heaven
As I’ll have free dental care when I reach eighty-seven!
Merry Christmas!
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